Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Lolo
Lolo *'Nominated by': Emperor Jarjarkine Senate Hall 22:08, June 11, 2014 (UTC) *'Nomination comments':May the force, be with me. (0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total) Support #praguepride (Talk) 17:18, June 12, 2014 (UTC) Object Exiled Jedi *Are there any quotes that you can add to this article? *When adding a reference you should use not . **All checked. ***There are still a couple of instances of without a name.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC) *'Intro and Infobox' **I do not believe that you can source his homeworld as Kamino to the episode. ***Removed ****Now it is not sourced. Please correct this.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC) **As it currently is, the first sentence of the introduction contains too much information. I would suggest splitting the sentence and having the first sentence focus more on who the character is and when he was lived. ***Done **You need context on the Zillo Beast in the introduction. Please make it clearer how it is related to the situation. ***Done too. *I'll continue my review once you take care of these.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 03:26, June 12, 2014 (UTC) **as now i am suppose to sleep (-_*) i can answer you to the first thing. hawkeyes never said one word except argg. So there is no quotes i can add. For the rest, i will do it tomorrow. Thx ejEmperor Jarjarkine Senate Hall 04:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) ***Since I assume someone must name Hawkeye during the show, you could add that as a quote for the introduction. *Your cite for the meters in the infobox still uses an unnamed ref. The current reference doesn't point anywhere. *You need to state that he was male in the body of the article. *You cannot source the personality and traits section to Episode II. *I'll continue my review after you fix these.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC) praguerpide NOTE: These are just suggestions to make reading smoother. Any and all of these could be argued against :P --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) *consider rewording "..., although living beings were not affected by it." in bio --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) **Discussed via IRC --praguepride (Talk) 16:50, June 12, 2014 (UTC) *consider rewording" ... and some others..." in 2nd bio paragraph. Were these "others" other clone troopers? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) *consider removing "...in the incident." from "...but Hawkeye was killed by the beast in the incident." --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) **Discussed via IRC --praguepride (Talk) 16:50, June 12, 2014 (UTC) *P&T is very short. Is there anything else that can said about him and his personality as a clone? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) *Consider rewording "Hawkeye, along with many other clones, wore..." in Equipment. --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC) **Change Like to like --praguepride (Talk) 16:50, June 12, 2014 (UTC) Master of the universe Salut! I found a few things in my review: *This may be a "sofixit", but you should link to the battle in the intro. **Done *Additionally, keep in mind that things need to be linked in the infobox, the intro, and the body. I added a couple, but there may be more missing. **Done *Procedurally, I don't think you can link his height to the Episode (infobox) and AOTC (personality and traits). The Encyclopedia entry should be best. **Done *You should try to mention that he is a male somewhere in the body. **Done *Could you try to add more info about how the Beast awakened? **It may be hard because, there's not alot to say **Done *He's the one who gets squashed, right? Maybe add a bit more context to his death. **Done *One more thing, you mention the gunships in the intro, but nowhere else. You should find a way to add it or simply remove it. **Done *Great work! [[User:Corellian Premier|'Corellian Premier']] The Force will be with you always 02:10, June 13, 2014 (UTC) Comments